‘This Asylum’ Again?

Simmy music plays as simmy music does in its simmy fashion to its own simmy beat.



Magic burns the food, yet thankfully doesn’t start a fire. She waves her hand to clear the smoke away with a sad sigh. An impatient foot can be heard tapping as the host is once more missing. The camera pans its familiar trek across the street.



“What’re you doing?”
Ruyb gasps. “You startled me.”
The off camera voice snickers, “Awesome! Still doesn’t answer my question though.”
Ruyb does her best to ignore the off screen voice and continues to practice her ‘speech’. “Blah, blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah… blah.”
“No, really… what are you doing?”
“Practicing the eulogy I’m going to give at your funeral.” Ruyb continues not skipping a beat.
“You’re not saying any words. You’re simply repeating ‘blah, blah, blah…”
“I couldn’t think of anything nice to say.” Ruyb shrugs. “Eulogies are all about praising the dead at their funeral and-”
“Wait, back up… my funeral? Why mine? I’m not a sim.”



Ruyb taps her chin in thought. “True but see, we figured you were dead. You’ve been gone forever.”
“Not that long… now let’s-”
“Five months, Roo. Five… we thought you forgot about us!”
The off screen voice mumbles, “I did.”
“What?!” Ruyb flails. “Unbelievable! If you had blamed it on WoW… on Cata… I could almost understand, but just to forget about us is just… just… wrong!”
“Meh…” The off screen voice starts to fade as it walks away. “Come on. Let’s get this going before I forget about you guys again.”
“You’re evil.”
“Thanks!”



“Hey you’re blurry!”
“Ya well, you let your kid update stuff and forgot to check settings. It’s bound to happen.” Ruyb waves a dismissive hand. “Don’t change the subject.”
“What is the subject?”
“This!”
“Oh right… I’m over it.”
“I hate you.”



“It’s been a bumpy road to put things mildly, yet Toots has made progress. Last time there was an update Toots was working her cute lil tushkiss off. Nearly to her Lifetime Wish she needs three more skills for her last promotion. Not too shabby. She unfortunately needs to max her body skill and fall has come to an end.” You can almost hear Ruyb nodding as she speaks. “There have been a few mishaps along the way. I’m sure you remember the fire dance so no need to point at Christina and remind everyone.”
“Heeeeeeey…” Christina’s voice is down trodden and pouty.
“Sorry, Hon. Just sayin’ is all.”



“Things still break with regularity. Magic thinks they’re doomed.”
“She does not! She’s just eating burned pancakes again.” Toots’ voice sounds a bit odd as it comes back to us via the innards of the dishwasher. “I’ll have this fixed in no time.”
“She burned them again? You’d think she’d be a better cook by now.”
“Ya well, she burns ‘em every time she tries to make ‘em. She should eat cereal but I can’t exactly stop them from cooking.” Her wrench falls silent as she sits back. “Done.” She puts her wrench back in its place within the mysterious invisible bag of holding that only a sim can find.
Ruyb sighs. “Did anything happen?”



“Not really. Christina kept eating nasty food. Yet some how she managed to keep from getting sick each time.” Toots points out the numerous times Christina chowed down on green wafting, bug ridden cuisine.
“That’s nasty!” Ruyb wrinkles her nose in distaste.
“Oh not that time… that green mist is coming from Christina. She had stink fumes… it was horrible.”



“We also had a few visits from the departed roomies. Unfortunately the camera man was so busy laughing that Vicky got away before the shot was taken… I think he got fired.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Ruyb counts heads. “No one died?”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Meh… how about a fight?”
“Sort of…” Toots shrugs. “You see, this guy was walking by and per my usual habits, I stopped him so he could entertain the ladies and be friends…”



“While he was friendly enough with Christina, he really didn’t like Magic. He poked her and was mean. She would walk away and cry. As soon as she was done, he’d start in on her again. It never escalated. It just repeated. Finally got bored with it and sent him home.”
Ruyb snickers. “You kissed him good-bye.”
“Well… yes.” Toots grins and shrugs. “He was cute.”
The off camera voice groans, “He had a horrific nose!”
Toots flails. “I didn’t say I wanted to marry the sim! Geez!”



Ruyb pipes in with her taunting sing song voice. “That’s cuz she likes Dreamer.”
Toots sighs happily. “Ya… he lives up to his name.”
“Finally we agree on someone.” Ruyb nods.
Toots’ eyes narrow, her hands on her hips. She peers hard at Ruyb. “You just stay away from my man!”
Ruyb waves a dismissive hand. “I don’t need him. I have my own.”
The off camera voice cackles, “Phase 3…”
Toots and Ruyb stare in alarm. “What about it?”
“Hmm… so is that all? Are we done here?”
Toots shakes her head suddenly uneasy. “I uh… well.”
“Spit it out.” The off camera voice prompts Toots to continue her train of thought.



Toots shrugs helplessly, her voice in a concerned high squeak. “I got promoted?”
“Excellent!” The off screen voice is relieved beyond belief and starts walking away, cameras in tow. “See ya for Phase 3.”
“What, wait! What is Phase 3?”