Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Back to ‘This’ Asylum

The ever present simmy music plays obliviously in the background. Drumming fingers are heard while the cursor hovers indecisively. Giggling and carrying on can be over heard as the familiar sounds get louder. “Oh for the love of…”

“Ruyb…” The impatient off screen voice tries uncessfully to get the hosts attention.
There is a short pause in the festivities. “Did you hear something?”
“Nothing important I’m sure.” The pause ends and the woohoo continues. The off screen voice sighs and shoos the hesitant camera crew across the street.

“Seeing how the whole crew is now starving from lack of food during their ‘Ack, fire’ dancing and the deaths. I opted to have Toots call for Chinese take out rather than trying to get everything cleaned up and cooking something.” The off voice pauses to admire the scenery.
The take out delivery guy pauses as the camera stares at him. He glances at the camera and the drooling woman directing them with a questioning smirk. “Excuse me, I have a deliver to make.” He eases past the crew to ring the door bell. Immediately he is given a sizable tip in order for Toots to get acquainted with the manbeast.
“Oh thanks! Um… I will call you later and we can talk.” She glares at Roo who simply grins. “Apparently we’re meant to be friends.” She takes the tray of food and gives him an awkward smile before heading back in to the building. “Food’s here!”

“Toots is pretty hungry after her long day of work, her near death and the constant interruptions to what she wants to do as opposed to what I need her to do. Trouble is, she is blocking the food and now no one gets to eat except for her.” The off screen voice can be heard sighing.

“The next couple of days or rather nights we get visitors. Not necessarily the ones I’d like to have visiting but when it comes to the dead, I am not given a choice in the matter. They simply show up when it suits them. While at times they simply cry over the injustice of it all, other times they take their frustrations out on the one who started it all.” The off screen voice can be heard chuckling at Christina’s latest visitor.

Frustrated, the cameras pan back across the street. “Ruyb, are you going to do your hosting job at all this update?”
Ruyb snuggles in to his arms, sighing blissfully. The off screen voice can be heard growling. Ruyb lifts her head to grin, “I only promised to do last update. I got what I wanted. You’re on your own now.”
“I gave him to you. I can take him away.”
Ruyb grins confidently. “You like him too much. Now don’t you have an update to do?” Once again, Ruyb gets comfortable in his arms enjoying how her body fits perfectly to his. The camera crew heads back to the other side of the street sans director with the sounds of tempers flaring in the background.

“So I told her that I put her guildie on ignore because no one gets snarky with me about my toon. I mean if I want to play destro then that’s what I’m going to play and it’s not as if I asked for her opinion either. I mean she just IM’s me to nag me. I don’t play to get nagged at. I play to have fun and that wasn’t fun. So later she’s all, oh I know who that is and ya a lot of people don’t like her because she does that. And um… oh ya? Hmmm… okay so I’ll talk to you later then.” Toots stares at the camera crew as she hangs up. “What?”
The cameraman simply shrugs silently and Toots sighs. “So I just talked to the fireman guy and the take out food guy. We’re friends enough that I can invite them over to get a better look at them. I dunno… neither one of them impressed me much.”

Ruyb’s voice suddenly comes across. “Toots was indeed meh over the Chinese take out guy which I think is hilarious. Roo was so annoyed and growling at Toots. Not that she listened or anything. Thing is when she invited the fireman over she was even less impressed with which had me cracking up. Two guys Roo wants for her to hook up with and Toots isn’t even remotely interested!”

“On the other hand Mitch was throwing some pink hearts at Christina so Toots took the opportunity to sit down and have a chat with them both. This way she started the ground work for their friendship. Who knows if more will come of it? I mean we have ACR still so anything can happen!”

“One day Toots actually brought someone home from work. Her first time and she brings home Aman Sim.” Ruyb smirks. “Roo cant stand him. Naturally she was growling at Toots again. Its not as if the woman can pick who she brings home. Anyhow she introduced him around to the other women and then had an at home outing.” There is a short pause as a thought occurs to Ruyb. “Yanno, while he was there he talked with Christina for a long while and even gave her something. It didn’t go in Toots’ backpack so Im not sure if it’s a stereo, television or a computer but still… if she dies does it go to someone else?”
“Ruyb! No one else is going to die.”
“Uh huh… that’s what you thought when you started phase 2. No one is gonna die.” Ruyb laughs at the off screen voice. “Famous last words.”

Ruyb scoffs. “Family sims. Any how she had plenty to celebrate. She is now promoted to Lieutenant. I think that’s level 7 in her career so she’s almost done.” Ruyb gets a look at Amin’s profile. “Now that is some nose.”

“So life goes on for the four ladies. Sorry this is such a short update but there weren’t any more… well, okay there was one more fire but it was small and it was started by Toots. That got put out rather quickly. See you next time. And remember… ‘This’.”


Thursday, August 5, 2010

‘This’ smoldering Asylum

Sim music plays as the camera comes in to focus. No yelling is heard, no one appears to be missing any CC at the moment and the inmates, erm minionettes are a bit subdued due to their recent loss of their friend.

“There you are. We have an update to do.”
Ruyb continues to bathe and ignore the off camera voice. “Ruyb…”
“I said there is an update to do… get your ass out of the bath and lets do this.”
“I need you to do something for me.”
“Oh for the love of-” The off camera voice stops midsentence, silence is heard, not even a cricket is chirping. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Ruyb puts the soap aside and stares, challenging the off camera voice. “You do that for me and I’ll cooperate.”
“Interesting… consider it done. Now get out of the tub and let’s get this started.”

Ruyb smiles for the camera as she comes in to view. “Welcome back to ‘This Asylum’ where no one fights, everyone knows how to cook and other than a few aspiration concerns they appear to all be rather content.” She sighs for a moment, her smile slips and she shrugs at the off camera voice. “I can only be chipper and bubbly for short periods of time without some drama to keep me interested. So what’s next?”
“I’m not sure but I would guess the title should be some indication of what’s next.”

“Toots is plugging along at her required three skills for her LTW of Capt. Simarica.”
“It’s not Cap-tain Sim-ar-i-ca.” Toots manages to speak each syllable in rhythm with her hops. “It’s Cap-tain He-ro!”
Ruyb smirks, “Easy for you to say.”
“Not real-ly. I just don’t want to have to start all o-ver a-gain.”
Ruyb stares at the off camera voice. “I’m supposed to work with this?”
“Mhmm… we made a deal.”

Ruyb takes a deep breath and tries again. “Seeing how Toots is rather busy at the moment, I am simply going to give you the 411 here. Heather was hungry… Heather was stinky… Heather went to make something to eat only to leave it cooking on the stove while she went to take her shower. Naturally, as with any food left on the stove too long, it began to overcook.”

“Unfortunately Heather didn’t go back to cooking and soon the spaghetti was in flames. Thankfully our hero in training is home and manages to call for help. Fire department arrives to save the day, puts the fire out and all is right in Pleasantview.”

“The girls still get along great. Even Tracy has gotten over her hate of dirty jokes. Either that or they stopped telling her the dirty jokes. Either way they eat together, play together and are happily boring Roo to near drama intervention.”
“Hey! No ad-libbing.”
“I’m surprised you don’t have a picture of Vicky making a snowman.”
“I don’t?” Shuffling papers can be heard off screen followed by a photographer getting fired. “Hmm, that’s a shame.”

“Just about the time when Roo was ready to throw in the proverbial towel and give in to drama temptation, it happened.” Ruyb bites her lip and tilts her head. “No, I’m not talking about that; no one cares what I’ve been up to.”
The off camera voice sighs, another chuckles, once more a photographer is fired.
Ruyb brings the focus back to the update. “I’m referring to the drama that one sim managed to create for the household, the drama so intense the household will never be the same again. In one simple move she managed to rock the whole asylum to an extent even Roo was left in awe.”

“You see… Christina passed out. Christina passed out on her way to bed. Only it isn’t that simple. Things never are. Christina passed out on her way to bed having left a pastry in the oven. That of course isn’t the end of things. That too is simple. Alas, Christina passed out on her way to bed having left a pastry in the oven to burn shortly after 9 am.”

“Now I’m sure you’re asking what the significance is about the time. Yes any time is a bad time for a kitchen fire but gentle readers, Toots leaves for work…” Ruyb pauses for affect, “at 9 am.”

“The first to start the ‘ack, fire’ dance is Tracy and Magic. Not to be out done, they are soon joined by Vicky and Heather. The four dance their ‘ack, fire’ dance to the beat only heard to a sim faced with an out of control fire and this, gentle readers, is an out of control fire.”

“The hungry flames quickly consumed the stove and licked the air in its hunt for more. Tile apparently burns in an asylum and it crept its way towards Tracy. As Roo yelled at the screen in vain for the silly sims to move out of the way, the dance continues.”

“As the flames spread, it claims its first victim. Tracy’s dance changes from the ‘ack, fire’ dance to the ‘my ass is on fire’ dance. The hungry flames are not sated by one sim and claims a second.”

“Undeterred Magic and Heather continue their dance in hopes of appeasing the fire. Grimmy has come to claim his prizes and still the girls ‘ack, fire’ dance.”

“The fire lives, it changes it shifts, it grows it dies and still the sims dance to its tune. Magic and Heather are joined by Deb, the trio continue to flounder and dance. Roo continues to beat her head against the monitor. Her new mantra of ‘no, no, no’ falls on deaf ears. The sims dance on ignoring her pleas. They dance to the fire, they dance the ‘ack, fire’ dance.”

“Just as you think the flame is finished, that the dance will end, its hunger brings it back. That’s right, gentle readers, the dance is not over. For now the one who started it all has at last woken. It is time for Christina to join the ‘ack, fire’ dance.

“The fire shifts, it consumes more, it changes pace and the girls move accordingly. Four girls remain to dance, four move to the song of the fire. The fire builds growing ever higher until the chime of the clock strikes three.”

“Huzzah she says, run Toots run! Call the fire department and save who you can. Toots dutifully runs in but is called by the siren song of the fire. Ignoring the head banging noises of Roo she runs in to the flames. Yes, gentle readers, Toots ran in to the flame. Yet our hero in training did not just burn, she danced.”

“Every attempt to sway the hero towards the phones was thwarted by the flames call. To punish her further the flame claimed another. Our hero in training did her best to take her back but the flame won again.”

“Through gritted teeth, screaming and fussing, Roo managed to coerce our hero away from the fire long enough to make the call for rescue. The flame was enraged. How dare she call the fire department? To show it has no fear, the flame grabbed for another! Christina yelped and danced her heart out.”

“Fire department to the rescue! Mitch came in time to save our Christina. The flame was so angry it grabbed Magic. Only it was no match for the men in uniform. The firemen handled the fire with ease. After hours of dancing the ‘ack, fire’ dance the ladies are exhausted, smelly and hungry.”

Back to ‘This’ Asylum

Thursday, July 1, 2010

‘This Asylum’ is underway

Sim music can be heard playing in its little simmy way. Nothing changes for a long while until a disgruntled voice breaks through. “Hey! My shirt is still missing!”
“Forget your shirt, what happened to my hair?”
“At least you don’t look like a freak!”
“Well there is that…”

“No, really I can’t.” She holds up a hand shaking her head stopping any rebuttal from him. “Think of it this way. If I were to cry out in the heat of passion, ‘Oh, oh yes, Mort, yes!’ It doesn’t have the same melodious ring if I were to cry out, ‘Oh… oh yes, yes, Mortimer, yesssss!’ See the difference? I think calling you Mortimer is much better.”
Ruyb flashes a suggestive smile at Mortimer as he suddenly shifts in the water. A voice clears her throat off screen, “Time to send your distraction home now. I think you’ve made him uncomfortable enough for one evening.”
Mortimer glances at the cameras as if he had forgotten their existence for a brief moment. His eyes widening ever so slightly as reality takes hold of him. Quickly he clears his throat regaining his composure. “Yes, quite right. I must be on my way. Hmmm… mind shutting the cameras off for a bit?”

The off camera voice directs the cameras across the street to allow Mortimer some small amount of privacy. “Heya, Toots.”
Toots looks up from her paper where she is perusing the want ads for employment in her field of choice. “Hey! Where have you been?”
“Peeling my simme off of your Mortimer, so what’s been going on?”
“Not much really and…” The realization of what was just said hits home as Toots gasps. “That hussy!”
The off camera voice chuckles, “Yes she is a romance sim, now focus on this side of the street please. What have you been up to?”

“Christina made it to the asylum.”
“It’s not like she had far to go.” Ruyb pipes in.
“Heeeey!” Christina protests.
“The asylum is across the street from the host house, ya goof.” Ruyb laughs.
Christina pauses momentarily, “Oh, right.”
“Nice of you to join us.”
Ruyb waves a dismissive hand, “Nothing to do over there now that Mortimer left. What did I miss?”
“Nothing yet. Toots was ab-”
“Hey, Roo?”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ruyb points at the puddle of possibilities.
“Naturally. You are my sim me after all.”
Christina blissfully splashes in the puddles oblivious of the conversation she is no longer privy to while HK has finished her bouncing in a few choice puddles in the backyard.

“Something did get struck by lightening. It just wasn’t Christina or HK. Christina took a huge hit in the aspiration department. Once she was done doing the ‘ack, fire’ dance, she dropped like a lead balloon into a mind numbing aspiration spiral of failure.”
Ruyb giggles at Toots, “The ‘ack, fire’ dance?”
Toots shrugs, “What else would you call it?”
Ruyb taps her chin in thought, “Huh… good point.”

“Days go by and the bills start to pile up unpaid. I wasn’t finding my job in law enforcement anywhere! So I had to resort to the highest paying job that started like now. I would get a promotion and every time I came home, I would look for another job. It took eight days before the right job finally came around!”
“On the bright side, you got quite a number of promotions and you aren’t hurting for money any more.”
“Let’s not forget, I look damn cute in uniform!”

Ruyb plops down on the ground, plucking mindlessly at the grass. “Did anything fun happen? I mean like… I dunno. Did any of the girls fight?”
“Other than me getting on Christina for breaking the shower… the girls get along great.”

“Boring…” Ruyb sighs. “Okay what about someone passing out or a piddle?”
“It was the weirdest thing, HK was going in the stall to yanno… only she came back out and wouldntcha know it? She piddled in front of the stall. I mean, you’re like ‘right’ there. Why come back out?”
Ruyb laughs. “Okay so that’s at least funny.”
“That’s not even the worse part… you’d think she would like, I dunno, shower! But nope, she went to bed, piddle stank and all.”
The women shudder, “Eeeeeew.”

“The women are all handling things in their own way and in some cases not handling things very well at all. I’ve tried stopping people that pass by to meet them and keep them occupied but that only helps for a little while.”

“How about fires?”
“Nope, no fires. You would think this was TS3 and they were all natural cooks or whatever that one trait was.”

“They do tend to eat green foods. Gross green with flies n stuff, only one of them has gotten food poisoning so far.”
Ruyb perks. “Oh?”

“Vicky got over it. Not sure how she managed that seeing how she didn’t sleep much or rest up like she should have.”
Ruyb sighs again, “Oh.”
Toots laughs, “You sound disappointed.”
She shrugs noncommittally. “Whatever.”

“Then you’ll be disappointed to hear that the garbage disposal broke but failed to kill me.”
The voice off screen breaks into the conversation. “I’m not. If you die, the challenge fails. I need you to survive.”
Toots smirks, “Your concern for my well being is almost touching.”
“It’s not like…” Her voice trails off. “Where did…”

“Shh… don’t frighten him off. He’s so sexy and I really like this one.”
“I can see by your two bolts, but that’s not the point, we’re in the middle of an update here!”
“The end of one you mean, nothing happened really. Toots got her dream job, she is a Desk Sergeant and no one died.”
Toots clears her throat to get their attention. “Actually…”

(click for larger view)

This smoldering asylum

Friday, June 25, 2010

Switching Gears

Christina squeals with delight bouncing on the diving board. “I love the host house!”
Toots sighs exaggeratedly, “Why are you in my house? You’re making too much noise. Go back to your own house!”
Christina causes a lovely large splash in the pool. Much to her chagrin she belly flops in to the pool in a most awkward way.
The voice off screen can be heard chuckling. “Graceful…”

“Okay chickadee, its time.”
Toots slowly opens her eyes, reluctantly acknowledging the persistent voice. “I’m not getting out of the water, its soothing. Besides the toddler challenge is over.” The off screen voice decides to pause for affect. Toots watches her unmoving, the longer the pause the more curious she becomes. “What are you up to?”
“Phase 2.”
“What is phase 2?”
The off screen voice chuckles once more. “There is a computer over there. You need to find your own place so you can move out of here and in to the lot I’m preparing just for you.”
She sits up in the water and stares suspiciously at the off screen voice. “I don’t trust you…”
“You don’t have to. Now scoot.”

Toots makes her way to the computer. “My own house? Why don’t I believe you?”
The off screen voice sighs, “Can’t you just move and not question me? Just go. I have things to do.”
“What kind of things?”
Giggling and splashing is heard off screen as Christina continues to swim around. The off screen voice is mildly distracted as shuffling papers is heard. “Hmmm? Oh just things, building the structure, bringing in the next round of volunteers, those sorts of ‘things’…”
“Oh, well at least I won’t be suffering alone. Okay then, let’s do this.” Toots carries out the proper movements of a sim moving out on their own by tapping for a while on the computer, sitting at said computer waiting for the taxi to show. Getting up and walking out to that taxi, ignoring everything around her and-
“Oooo, its Mortimer!”
“I’m going, I’m going! Geez…”

Simming music can be heard as the view goes to the save screen, the neighborhood screen and continues through to the loading screen.

Toots whips out a pair of binoculars from her magically invisible bag of holding. “I don’t see a house, Roo. I think there are some birds over there but definitely no house!”
“We have a bigger issue to deal with first. Your Lifetime Want is not doable in a short period of time and I need something faster.” The college adjuster magically appears and rerolls the Lifetime Want. “Now that is doable.”
“Oh I look good in uniform!”
The off screen voice sighs, does ‘things’ and un-pauses. “Okay now sit tight, I have a few more things to do.”
“Gah, it’s raining!”
“Sit. Tight.”

Simming music plays once more…

“Seeing how a challenge can be boring with only one sim, at least one that is not a legacy… I have found new volunteers for phase 2. Shall we?” The off screen voice doesn’t wait for a response and continues on.

“I see you finally found me.” HK chuckles and checks out her new clothes.
“Our first volunteer is HK. She is a romance Aquarius with 2-3-4-7-9 as for likes dislikes… who knows… I didn’t write it down.”
“I told you my likes and dislikes in LL.”
“You’re right, you did and I did pay attention… kinda. I did use what you wrote so if anyone really cares they can look it up.”

“Next is Tracy who thought she was safe…” The off screen voice chuckles. “As if…”
“Ya but I’m still cute… even if I’m not a gnome.”
“Tracy is a family Aquarius with 2-0-6-10-8.”
“Oh that’s better than last time, you made me mean.”
“Shhh… I can still change you.”
Tracy stares at the off screen voice and shudders. “No, that’s okay I’m fine…”

“Here we have Sariana… or rather this time I named her Vicky Starsha… I think.”
Vicky stretches and grins at the camera. “Whatever works. Hi everyone!”
“Okay Sunshine, that hair is just not working for me.”
“That’s fine, just leave my shirt alone.”
The voice chuckles, “I wouldn’t dream of changing it. There… you look better. Vicky is a popularity Libra with 1-6-4-7-7.”
“Oh wow, I’m a slob!”

“Deb is a fortune Libra with 2-8-2-6-7”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not getting a makeover?”
“Do you need one? I changed your other clothes just not your every day.”
“Cool, nah this works.”
“Okay I figured with all that mess with your Bachelors, you could use a break.”
Deb glances at the off camera voice and chuckles. “Ya, right…”

“I grabbed Heather from her hectic life and threw her in game. I figured she too could use a break from reality.”
“Cute shirt.”
“Mhmm, for some silly reason it just fit you… or at least it does in my mind. Anyhow, Heather here is pleasure Cancer with 7-4-4-2-8.”

Magic clears her throat. “You do realize I’m no longer in LL… right? I mean I haven’t been there in quite some time… the whole time we’ve known each other in fact. You know-”
“Gah! Yes, I know… I know! Its just I needed another body and yours was available. It was either drag you in or some random no one and I wasn’t having any of that. Now shush.”
“Did you just try to shush me?” Magic laughs. “Like that ever works?”
The off screen voice ignores the question as if it wasn’t asked. “Magic is a popularity Capricorn with 9-3-2-5-5.”
“I’m a Pisces.”
“I know… but for this you’re Capricorn. I needed at least one clean freak so I tweaked you.”

“Hmmm… no that’s not right.” She tries another outfit on her. “That’s better… but still not what I was hoping for. Where the heck did I put that shirt?”

The camera zooms back to the host house. The off screen voice sighs. “What?”
Christina has taken the time to exit the pool and spin back in to her everyday wear. She is none too happy with her current situation. “You’re just going to abandon me here after everything you put me through?”
“Maybe… maybe not… I haven’t decided yet.”
“That is not nice!”

The girls magically appear on the lot with Toots. Slowly they move around and take note of each other as the rain falls on their heads.

Magic groans noting her precious CC is missing sticking her with this hideous get up instead. In an attempt to cheer her up, Ruyb shows off her 1 nice point. Meanwhile Tracy manages to insult Vicky, Deb chats with HK and Heather feels a bit lost without her little ones. Toots wisely steps in to the house to call everyone in out of the rain hoping some kind of explanation is forthcoming from the currently silent off screen voice.

Toots manages to herd the ladies inside and looks around doing a quick headcount. “Where’s Ruyb?”
The ladies look around at each other, some shrug some go on about their day without a care.

“Are you ready to go?” Ruyb strolls in to the host house finding Christina quite easily. “You’re not ready to go! What have you been doing? Geez, first you get mad because you’re ‘abandoned’ and now that your replacement is here you’re not even ready.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re moving across the street.”

“What? I’m not moving back across the street, I just got here!” Christina stomps her foot for emphasis. “You keep shifting me around.”
“Well ya, you’re a sim. That happens to us all. Listen the girls are waiting for you. They can’t go forward until you get there so hurry it up will ya?”
“My girls are back? The social worker will take them away if I’m not there to take care of them!”
Ruyb blinks a few times until the dimmer switch turns the light bulb on. “Oooooh, no, no, no not ‘those’ girls, I’m talking about other LL ladies.”

“So no more taking care of kids?”
“No kids during phase 2.” Ruyb pauses as a thought strikes her. “At least none are living there. I can’t say that one won’t pass by the house or call or something…” Ruyb blinks and grins at Christina. “You get to be taken care of this time.”
“Oooo, you mean…”
“Yup that’s right. I’m shipping you off to the nut house, the funny farm, an asylum!”
“And that is better… how?”

“Simple! Toots is the controlled sim, so all the care giving, fixing of things etc is on her to take care of and you get to do whatever you want until she fulfills her Lifetime Want.”
“This sounds like fun! I can make her miserable for being snarky to me?”
“You betcha! I’m counting on it. So hop on that computer and find your own place so you can move out all official like.”
“So what is her Lifetime Want?”
“Toots is a family Aries sim with 5-8-6-3-3 and her Lifetime Want is to be Captain Hero.”
“That’s totally doable.”
“That’s what I thought. Her first one was 6 grandkids… cha that can’t happen in an asylum.”

Christina promptly sits and looks for a place of her own, her fingers fly across the keyboard in the usual simmy fashion.
“Hey Christina…”
“Someone’s in the hot tub.”
Ruyb gets that gleam in her eyes and wanders off towards the hot tub to investigate.
“Aren’t you going to wave bye?”
“Are you serious? There is a man in the hot tub and you want me to run and wave at you?” Ruyb laughs and smiles at Mortimer.

Inmate #7 – Christina Cuzican fortune Leo 3-7-4-7-4

Welcome to phase 2, The Asylum Challenge.
Magic’s voice is muffled and far off in the distance. “Where is my shirt?!”

‘This Asylum’ is underway